I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You need Xanax blowdarts
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
