the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My penis needs a shock collar
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
