she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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