did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
