do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
