Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
