filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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