You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
