Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize