so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
