I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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