Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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