have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
