I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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