i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
