I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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