What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
