# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
