Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
honey bunches of taint.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
