Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
