She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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