So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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