Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
