I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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