Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
