ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
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