Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
