I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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