y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
