GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
