Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
