I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Randomize
