The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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