i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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