remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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