Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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