You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I think I sprained my soul last night
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
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