You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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