I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
