whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
