we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
