jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
