that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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