I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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