wrigley field is MILF paradise
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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