you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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