Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I would ride that face into the sunset
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
