He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
