If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
