I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
